After two months of unsuccessful attempt at finding a job, countless hours spent on searching positions, understand how to make my CV stand out in Berlin, making a cover letter that is serious but not boring and receiving the same generic email that is almost convincingly authentic and obviously not generic.

Madame Savoie,

Although we were astonished by your background and qualifications, I have the regret to inform you that we found no positions suiting your skills at this point. Continue to follow our progress and best of luck with your search.

Yup. I am apparently amazing, it’s just not quite the good fit. Great news. Or is it? These emails made me even more confuse as when I look at my CV, I do see qualifications, but why is it that I do not even get an interview anywhere?

• Perhaps my Cover letter is not convincing enough.
• Maybe it’s not long enough
• Or too long
• Maybe my CV doesn’t suit European standards
• I realized too late that if there were no picture and mention of your age, it was over.
• Perhaps I’m targeting the wrong offers.

Many questions and no answers. Many more hours and wonder about the struggles of being out of school.

Take me back school, just take me back already, would you?

Until one morning I finally get hired somewhere. Somewhere I am overqualified and not paid enough. But somewhere.

It’s a real job. Not a rainbow job but a job in something I’m used too: sales.

But only three days after starting, I already noticed a difference in my being and state of mind. My boyfriend called it worker syndrome, but truly, it’s important to notice the change and act on them before they become bad habits. So I made a 1 step guide for me, and for you that are in the same situation so we remain sane! Hah!

Step 1: Recognize the change and note them down.

Whether you want it or not, any change in life positive or negative, huge or tiny, special or boring will necessarily affect you. Sometimes it will be barely noticeable, but it might be quite major. In any period of change it is crucial to be aware of yourself and practice even more introspection.

• Irritability
• change in appetite
• change in mood
• Need to cry for no reason
• feeling of being overwhelmed
• Feeling of being unsatisfied
• Stress
• Rude tone
• Pale skin and tired eyes
• Feeling of being uninspired
• Feeling like a corporate zombie (Hello Oskars)
• inconsistent sleep cycle
• Urgent need to give up already
• Wonder about the meaning of life
• Irrational thoughts
• Exaggeration of the situation
• Anything else inconsistent with who you are

Yes, it seems like you are stuck in a swirl of confusion and the usual sunshine you are became a grey grey cloud that make it rain sometimes.

Changes are unpredictable. In my experience, change is always good. Change will necessarily bring you further. When it’s good, it will mostly go smoothly and you will feel like you are riding a wave you can’t fall from. If it starts rough or makes you wonder what is the real meaning of this and why it happens to you.  But in any case there is no reason to regret any decision or change. As many great mind on my way made me realize:

It is not the decision that matters but what you are making out of that decision that change it all.

Because there is always something to get from any experience. If it’s good it makes you fly, If it’s bad it makes you grow and help to know you better. Because knowing what you hate also counts.

In the end, It’s important not to get lost when change takes up like a rough rough wave that will bring you in a swirl that makes the under world far from peaceful.

Hold on.

There can’t be so many waves coming.  Well, unless you are in Portugal and they are 4 meters high and 5 at a time while you try to hold your breath and survive. I have been there, felt the power of the ocean.

Be the ocean

This week is about introspection. Note down what changes you feel and struggles you have noticed in your routine within this change. On Tuesday evening, I will publish the part 2 about how to target bad habits and kill them with kindness. And on how to implement good habits and make sure you don’t lose yourself in this corporate apocalypse. The sooner you recognize how you feel, the easier it will be to cut it before it strangles you.

What to do to be a master at introspection?

• On the first day try to wake up with the mindset to observe yourself.
• Remind yourself throughout the day to focus on how you feel and how you act.

-For example, set alarms on your phone, wear a hair tie, write a memo on your hand               with ink

• At the end of the day, note down the following elements: mood, stress level, anxiety level, inappropriate response to people like being angry at the bakery’s employee or your boyfriend, general feeling, level of exhaustion and any other internal sensation.

Anything is relevant. Journaling is not only for kids but for any mindful being. Be aware of what is wrong and you’ll be able to do everything to make it right. And of course use my guide that will be online next week. Just in time to be targeting positive elements and improve your general well being.

Reflect, breath, repeat